Quote from "The Rules
for Cats," by Fancy Mews
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the
other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping,"
otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the
rules for "hampering:"
1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left
heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better
chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between
eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate
manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible or
at least. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and
slap the pencil or pen.
4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes
or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First,
sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly
from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely,
roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of
your ability. After being removed for the second time, push
pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.
5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her,
be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.
6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk,
walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then
lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.